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I Promise You Forever Right Now
Part III-B

The next morning was a bliss. What could be more perfect than waking up knowing that the person you love is right next to you? Oh God, tell me this isn't a drea-- "Eh?"
No one's beside me? N-no way...
"I'm here."
I found him sitting on what seem like a small couch attached to the end of the bed, gracing me with the sight of his perfectly toned back.
"What are you doing there? You scared me. I thought you already... left me."
"Ah no, no. It's fine. I'm just a little.. uhh.."
"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Oi, why so serious?? That's not a big deal!"
"No, I mean last night..."
"Eh? L-last night?"
Last night. Yeah. Just the thought of it made all my blood rush to my face.
"Sorry. I was drunk. I shouldn't.. that kind of t-thing.. to you.. R-really, sorry. Look, Taka.. I--"
"W-wait! Why.. Why are you apologising? What is this!?"
"What we did was... disgusting, right?"
Disgusting? How could he say that!?
"J-just forget about it! We're drunk and caught in the heat of the moment. To top it off, we're both guys!"
There goes that phrase. 'We're both guys'. And that's the reason you're disgusted.
"This shouldn't happened. I... I know... I shouldn't touch you. 'Coz you... you're my besfriend and... Tsk. Just. Just forget it."

His words are so harsh that I the only thing I can manage to do was stare at him; stare at him as he turned his back to me and leave. My tongue failed me. I couldn't put my thoughts into words. My head is spinning. Everything happened so fast. It was just last night that I felt we're closely connected. It was just several hours ago that my heart was beating like crazy. But now, in just a moment, my heart was once again, shattered into pieces. And all that I am now was an empty shell. It was just like the first time he rejected me. Or no. Now is more painful than before. What should I do? If I only knew that this will happen, I shouldn't have let myself indulge in that single night of ecstasy.

"So, it was like that, huh? You want me to forget that? Toru, you idiot. What about that I love you and be mine? Should I also forget them? How about those words you whispered just before I fall asleep? What was that "I promise you forever right now"? Were you just trying to practice your English skills with me? Just what... was that? What.. the hell was-- fuck. I'm just crying like an idiot here. You just left like that. You didn't even bother leaving some money for the hotel fee. We shared the bed, you idiot."


I skipped work that day. After crying a river, I decided to take a long walk. I'm not even bothered where my feet will bring me to. I just need to clear up my mind. I thought about running away but I know I'll end up longing for and chasing him again. I know it would be hard for me but for the last time, I need to talk to him. I gotta settle things with him.

I Promise You Forever Right Now
Part III-A

And the next thing I realized was that I'm already on bed and completely naked.


He's kissing me passionately and with every breath, he would whisper my name. Oh God, tell me I'm not dreaming and if I am, please, I don't wanna wake up anymore.

"Hey, I wanna hear you."
"C'mon, don't spoil the mood. Don't hold back that voice."
"I-its embarrassing!"
"You say that now? Heh~ I'll make you moan louder."
"W-wait! Hnnn--ah!"

His skillful fingers are playing around my member as his mouth keeps on sucking my nipples.
"N-no.. That's t-too much-- hnnn!"
"Louder. I wanna hear more"
His strokes became more wild as he said that and his other hand decided to work on my chest.
"Please what?"
"That's not you want, right?"
"N-no more--"
As if not wanting me to finish my sentence, he briskly lifted my hips. Everything seemed too fast that when I got back to my senses, he's already lowered his head to my thighs.
"W-wait! What are you--"
"Heh. Itadakimasu~"
He chomped on it. My poor thing, being played by his tongue. Slowly teasing the tip and then suddenly sliding down along its length. Teeth and tongue, they're making me weak...
"Hnnn.. Aah.. M-matte.. Hnn.."
"Its already gotten this big and I have just started."
"P-pervert! I said sto--"
Wh-what's that? Something slipped inside me??
"Sssshh.. Relax.."
"I-its.. weird.. w-what is..?"
"Try to feel it so you'd know."
It's a bit long.. Something warm.. A little bony.. Just.. Just like... Fingers.. H-his fingers--!
"Oh that's the spot, huh?"
"S-stop it, Toru! I feel w-weird.. hnn!"
"Come on... I wanna hear more... It's here, right?"
And he stroked that spot again.
"T-too much... Hnn... Sto-- hnn! Hnn-aah.. Aaah!"
"There, that's what I wanna hear."
"P-please.. I-I'm gonna-- hnn.. aaaahh!!"
I feel a bit exhausted and almost lost my conciousness.
"You came a lot. What a healthy body. But we're not yet done. I haven't satisfied myself."
He suddenly lifted my hips and opened my legs wider. What now?? I still feel weak from earlier.
"You're ready now, right?"
"R-ready? For what!?"
"My fingers aren't enough, right? We'll do something more exciting this time."
"Huh? W-what do you-- ah!??"
I suddenly felt something forcing its way inside me.
"N-no! It's too big!"
"Relax and time your breath with mine."
"No... I can't... Uhhh--!!"
"There, a little more..."
"H-hurts! No!"
"Wait... A little more and i'll be-- hnng.."
N-no.. It's forcing its way inside me..
"Haa... There... I'm all in."
"I.. I feel so.. f-full.."
"And I feel so warm here."
"Hnn.. T-toru.. I.. I love.. you.."
He just gave me a smile as I said that.
"Was that.. your answer? Am I really just your bestfriend? Can't we really be--"
He didn't let me finish and like earlier, he shut me up again with his rough kiss.
"I'll start moving now."
"Wha-- no!"

I could feel him slipped out slowly but as if digging for treasure, he suddenly pushed his way in.
"A-aah! Stop!"
I don't think I can take it. He's too huge. I want him to stop but he's not listening. He kept on thrusting in.

"I said stop! H-hurts!"
"That's why I said relax."
"N-no way I can relax! It hurts like hell!"
"Shut up, I've just started."
"I don't care. Pull it out alrea-- u-uhh.. T-too deep! Hnn!"
"I'll be gentle, I promise. So please be paitient, I'll make you feel good later."
"You seem so experienced with this but as for me, its my first time!"
"Well... Its my first time too..."
"With a man, I mean."
And without giving me any time to respond again, he suddenly pressed his lips against mine as if trying to have my attention focus on his kiss. I felt him slipped out of me as his tongue slowly traced the roof of my mouth begging to let it in. I closed my eyes and tried to give him a little opening but he actually took advantage of that hesitation of mine as his tongue abruptly forced its way in. It swept along my teeth, as his finger pushed gently against me. Sooner than before, he reached that spot again. Pleasure is starting to consume me, slowly trying to shatter every sense that I have. But before I could totally lose my senses, he suddenly pulled apart my flesh and added another finger. My body stiffend a bit and Toru, as if reacted to it, rolled his tongue over mine. The sensation's coming back; his tongue and fingers exploring my insides.
These two motions are so powerful that I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.
And while I'm still in a daze, he pulled out his fingers out of me and suddenly thrusted his member against me. Now, the last bit of my sense scattered to a million pieces.

If it wasn't for his lips being pressed against mine, I would've screamed. He's going deeper than before. He's moving rougher than before. But I no longer have that disgusting pain from earlier. Only I could feel is me getting tight, embracing his shaft inside my body.

"I guess its already enough with the gentleness I mentioned before. Sorry, I can't hold back anymore."

Without waiting for my response, he started rocking against me. With every thrust, he would say my name followed by 'I love yous'. But I'm not really sure if he's really telling those words to me or those were just part of my illusions again. I clung to him with my trembling hands as my vision and thoughts swirled around.

He grabbed my lower half and pulled our bodies closer as my arms were about to drop from his shoulders. He held my waist as if securing my position as he started to pound again his body into mine. His thrusts that are pushing deeper each time made my body dominated with lust that I didn't even realize that my hips are already moving in time to his rhythm.

I could feel something building up inside me driving me close to my limits. I tried to look up to the face of the man who's making me feel this way. He's panting heavily as I am. I'm a little relieved that I'm not the only one being like this.

"Don't stare at me like that. Its not good for you."

So, he says. And I actually regret it. As soon as I take my eyes off of him, he suddenly rocked violently against me. But I am very much consumed by pleasure that I feel numb to the pain.
I think my body's getting weird; my heart beat's increasing I'm  afraid it'll burst if this continues.

"T-toru.. Stop--hnnn! I can't... anymore..."
"No. There... Almost.. Hngg.."

He continued to slam his body into mine as he reached again for my lips. His playful tongue triggered a weird sensation down to my spine. I dug my nails on his back as I felt myself convulsing around his.
He slowly pulled out of me, made his last thrust and at the same moment, both our bodies shuddered, releasing all the pent up pleasure and lust.

My body went limp but I'm sure I heard him whisper something before I lost the last bit of conciousness that I have and fall into a deep sleep.

I Promise You Forever Right Now
Part III

"Hey, atleast try to walk will you!?"
"Is that really how you speak to your boss?"
"So we're back to employer-employee relationship, huh?"
"What's that tone? My curly brat's sulking?"
"You're calling me that again!? A-and what do you mean my? I-im not yours!"

Geez. This guy's really rude. Stop saying such things. Stop acting as if you're my lover. You're just making me feel worse...

"Sshh. Turn right to that street."
"Huh? What are you talking about now?"
"You don't want me to sleep in your house, right?"
"Yeah, I don't wanna bring you home."
"Then we'll sleep somewhere else."
"Alright, that's better for-- wait! What do you mean we?? I'm not going to stay the night with--"
"We're here."
"Huh? So this is... Chotto matte! This is a love hotel! Just what are you thinking!?"
"Shut up and get inside. Its the closest hotel around here that I know."

That's it. I ended up coming here and I'm actually taking a bath now while I have him waiting on the bed. It would be a nice set up if only we're lovers. But... *sighs*

"Oy. Are you still not done? If you'll stay longer, lemme join you."
"Wh-what!??" Dammit. Why do you have to say that just when I was having dirty thoughts here!?
"I said let's take a bath together. That'll cut me time to wait. I wanna sleep already, you know?"
"O-oh.. Got it. I-I'll be done in--"
"Hurry up and open the door-- oh? It's not locked, huh?"
"W-wait! What the hell? I told you I'll be done soon!"
"What now? Acting like a chick. And its your fault, you left the door open."
"The hell? You drunkard!"
"What? Anyway, if you're a girl, this'll be perfect."
"Well, I'm sorry that I'm a man!"
Damn. This is too much. I shouldn't have come here and--
"He-hey! Where are you touching!?"
"You're not a woman but yours is so fluffy."
"Yeah, so squishy."
"W-wait! Oy!"
"Damn it. Why are you doing this to me?"
"Ha?? What are you saying!? And please take off your hand from my-- h-hnn.."
"You're too cute I wanna gobble you up whole"
"S-stop! You're really a beast! I hate you! I-- mmfff!!"
He suddenly shut me up with his own lips. Its so soft. I hate how rough he's kissing me but I must admit, I've always been dreaming of this.
"Taka.. I love you.. Be mine.. Please..."
My mind clouded as he whispered those words right to my ears.
Am I dreaming? I'm still wide awake right? Did he really said that? Or are these just my illusions? Am I just hearing things because of excitement?
"Toru... I'm... not dreaming? T-tell me... I'm not... Please..."
"I'll tell you on bed..."

I Promise You Forever Right Now
Part II

"Morita-san right?"

He's so formal calling me by my surname. That's not how the Toru that I know would call me. If it was him, he'd call me by my first name with that gentle tone of his. I'm totally confused. I guess I really am mistaken. They're not the same person. They must only be sharing the same face. And it's not like I could easily ask for this man's first name just to confirm my doubt. That would be rude of me.

"Morita-san, help me bring these stuffs to my office."
"Ye-yes sir."

There. That’s the proof. This authoritative man and the gentle Toru can never be the same person. But why is it that a part of me is still hoping that he is my best friend? This is bad…

“What now? You’re waiting for your boss to open the door for you?”
“Eh? G-gomen!”

I’m totally lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice we’re already in front of his office. But he could have asked me properly to open his door. This guy is really rude. I hope he’d trip on the threshold and hit his face on the floor!

Unfortunately, that isn’t what happened. Right after we got in the room, he suddenly slammed the door behind and faced me.

"So, what happened after graduation? I haven't heard from you since then."
"Don't act innocent now. You know what I'm talking about, Taka-chan!"

Taka-chan, he said… So, he really is my best friend. He really is Toru-chan. And he hasn’t forgotten about me. I'm so glad. I'm relieved. But, why is he mad? He's even shouting. I've never seen him like this before. He used to be so calm and composed. Why is he acting this way?

"You… You're mad..."
"Of course I am! Who wouldn't be!? I couldn't reach your number. You left your house and never kept in touch with your family. Not even with any of our common friends!"

So that is why. The reason he's mad is not because he wanted to see me, but just because I suddenly disappeared on him.

"All my possible connections with you were cut."

But that's how I wanted it. I planned to totally walk out of his life. I meant to forget him. He only sees me as a childhood friend. But I don't see him as one. He's a normal guy and I'm not. I don't wanna mess him up so I thought its better to avoid him.

"Hey, say something! I'm so pissed. You suddenly disappeared without telling me anything!"
"So it’s fine if I tell you? If I tell you that I’ll be gone, you won't mind me leaving?"

Oh. He looked lost. It seems he didn’t expect that from me.

“A-anou.. F-forget it!”
“No. How could I forget my best friend?”

Yeah. Best friend. Just that…

“Ne, sorry for shouting like that. I’m just worried about you. You didn’t say a word before you left. I thought something bad happened.”

That’s all I could say. I don’t know how to respond to him properly. I don’t know what excuses I should give. There’s no way that I could tell him how I feel. Not now. I’ve gone this far just to forget my feelings for him.

“Gah. Whatever. Its fine.”
“I said, it’s fine. I know you have a deep reason for doing that. But please, from now on, tell me everything. If something’s bothering you, I’ll always be here to help. You know how important you are to me, right?”
“I... I’m important to you?”
“Of course You’ve been a little brother to me. Ah, no. Until now, I still consider you as one.”

So… from being a best friend, I’m demoted to being his brother. That way, these stupid emotions of mine became more stupid.

“Brother, huh? Right, If that’s what you want, then I’ll just be your brother…”
“Oi. I know that tone of voice. What are you sulking about? What, you don't want me to be your nii-chan?
He suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he said that.
“N-no, that's not it.. Anyways, I'm older than you! A-and.. I am not sulking!!”
“There, there. You’re still my Taka-chan. Stop pouting, I’ll treat you an ice cream.”
“B-baka! I’m not a kid!”
“I know, I know. But you’re acting like one.”

And then he broke into a heartily laugh. He still has that cool air around him whenever he’s laughing so carefree. I’m surprised how a single smile of him could revert back all those feelings that I hid all these years. And that’s when I realized that I really don’t want to break my ties with him; that I’m actually longing to hear his voice, to see this man, to be with him.

“You’re unfair…”
“Why? I already said I’ll treat you. The store is about to close, let’s go somewhere!”
“Tch. Whatever.”


I chose to keep silent the whole time we walked to the family restaurant we used to go to during our university days. This way, I won't accidentally blurt out anything weird. Anything that might make him realize my feelings...

“Taka-chan, feels nostalgic, ne?”
“Eh? Ah- h-hai!
“Why are you so fidgety today?”
“Uhh.. S-sorry It’s just that… You’re the owner. To think that I’ll be having a dinner with my boss, it feels awkward.”
“Pffft.. C'mon, stop it! Just for tonight, don’t think of me as your boss. Tonight, we’re drinking buddies!”
“Heh~ Then we’ll drink the whole night! And don’t you dare forget that it’s your treat!”
“Hai. hai.”

We really drank to our hearts’ content. But I can’t believe that he’ll be almost knocked out after his 4th bottle!

"Woi, Toru, still alive?"
"Of course I am, curly brat."
Tch. He's teasing me again. But I don't hate it. Actually, I missed this.
"Whatever. Ne, remember what I told you earlier?"
"That you're unfair..."
"You really are unfair... How could you make these feelings come back in just a flick of time? I’ve worked hard all these years to forget you... To forget that I’m in love with you… Just... How could you???"
"O-oi! Are you sleeping?"
Oh god. What am I to do to you? Again, just like before, you never let me finish my confession. That time, you brushed me off just before I could tell you my feelings. And now, you dare to sleep while I'm talking??

“Woi, Toru-chan! I don’t know where you live! How can I drive you home? What’s your address?”
“Oi, wake up! Or do you want to sleep on a sidewalk??”
"Let me stay at your house.”
“Just for tonight… Onegai…”
“Tch. Can’t be helped.”

That time, I have no idea that everything will change on that single night...

I Promise You Forever Right Now

Part I

["Wherever you are I always make you smile.. Wherever you are I'm always by your side..."
"Ne~ Toru-chii! Let's make a band together and have this as our debut song! And then, we'll make an acoustic version of it. And--"
"Hai, hai, Taka-chan. But before that, can you first concentrate on your notes? We do have a quiz later, remember?"
"Eeeeehh!? You'll let me copy later, won't you?"
"Heh. Puppy eyes won't work on me and you know that."]


Ugh. I've been working here just a week ago and to be scolded like that by the manager isn't good. So why the hell would I remember that at a time like this? And now, just the thought of him can make me remember that day. The day when my heart was crushed and I decided to leave him. That day when I made a vow to myself that there won't be a single day that I'll think of him. And when I've finally gotten myself used to life without him, why now?

"Ne, Taka-kun! Still day dreaming, eh? You aren't satisfied yet with shachou's scolding, are you?"

Oh, so Ryota-kun heard it. Better change the topic or I'll end up hearing his preach as well.

"Ah! Ryota-kun, you said yesterday that the owner will pay a visit tomorrow, didn't you?"

"Well yeah, I did. So you must practice now not being caught by the manager like earlier, ok? It's not only you who'll be in trouble if ever."

"Yeah, yeah. I know that.."

Geez. I thought I could leave that topic. But the worse is, even the other staffs are being troubled by my irresponsibility at work.

"Uhm, back to the subject. What kind of person is the owner?"

"Hmm... Well, Boss is a handsome, mysterious and gentle type of guy. He's so cool and always so composed."

What the hell was that? Is he a fangirl?

"But, generally speaking, owner is the type of man who would be envied by normal guys like us. You'll see, he has this charm that can seduce anyone. Some guys even call him a woman-magnet. Lucky, ne? But when it comes to work, he's indeed a responsible and reliable leader."

A charming woman-magnet, huh? Yet a reliable leader. Heh, just like someone I know.

"Hey! Just what are you grinning about? You're freaking me out, Taka-kun! Anyways, I'm sorry but after I deliver these orders, I'll be heading home right away. And since we'll be busy bodies tomorrow, manager allowed us to close the store early. Be sure to clean before you close it, ok? I leave everything to you now."

"Yeah, got it. Take care."


So, the Boss will be here tomorrow, huh? Since Ryota-kun left and even after we close the store, I've been thinking about it. And why do I even feel so excited? It's not like its Toru-chan who we will be meeting tomorrow.

Eh? Wait. What was that? Does it mean that I still want to see him? But I thought I have already given up on him. So, why now? It's already been three years and that was long enough! Why is this feeling still haunting me? Damn it! My chest is hurting again. Everytime I remember him, I can't help thinking about that day. When just right after the graduation ceremony, I decided to admit everything...

["Toru-chan. I - I wanna tell you something.. B-but, I hope you'll understand.. You see, I - uhh.."
"What? That you are gay? I already know that and it's fine with me."
He - he knows? Yet he's still giving me that warm smile and gentle pat on my head like usual? Oh geez, I'm so happy. How can I calmly tell him now what I've really been wanting to say? Ah, whatever, I should just give it a try.
"Well, I - If that is the case, then, I - uhh, to you --"
"Don't be so nervous about it, Taka-chan. I already said its fine. Nothing will change. We're still bestfriends and will always be, ok?"
"Ye - yeah.."]

That's all I could give as a response: a painful acceptance. I knew it. My feelings for him will never be returned since he doesn't swing that way. He's straight, and being surrounded by women like that, no doubt, he'll always be. Good thing that I prepared myself before talking to him. But that moment when I heard him say those words - 'nothing will be changed'...'still bestfriends'...'will always be' - I felt like I've suddenly fallen to the bottom of a deep hole. I lost all the courage that I gathered in that instant. Just before I could fess up, he already... rejected me...


Man, I'm in deep thoughts about Toru-chan last night that I barely slept. Now, I just don't feel like a zombie, I totally looked like one already. Geez and today is Boss' visit. Good thing I arrived here before him and the manager.

I don't know but I really feel excited meeting him. What was he like? Was he really that handsome? And why is my heart beating so fast?

"Saa~ minna, Kaichou is now here. You guys should greet him properly, ok?"


I couldn't believe my eyes when I turned my gaze to the one they call Boss. I must be dreaming. He really looked like Toru. No, I knew it, he is my Toru. I'm sure of it…

"To - Toru-chan..."

And the moment our eyes met, I never knew that the excitement that I felt, the racing heartbeat of mine, the smile that I've been wearing since this morning, all of these, would wore off of me in that instant. I thought he'd be happy to see me again. I thought he'll recognize and hug me right away. But he didn't. All that man gave me was a cold stare.